Just Another Monday...Long Over Due Blog...Passion, WMMA and Swallowing Your Pride

So, today was pretty much crap. Let's be honest. Today was crap. Well, I'm speaking for myself of course, but it was just one day. It was Today. Not Monday. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. It was Today. In that, there is hope. 

By hope, I mean that when tomorrow becomes Today, I get a reset. But before I get that reset, I still have Today. So, since my morning up until about 1 PM was complete and utter crap where, let me tell you, things just went south FAST, I spent the remainder of the afternoon trying to salvage the morning fiasco and never really recovered.  C'est la vie. Such is life. So, in an effort to salvage this today, instead of posting on Twitter what a suck day it was, I thought I'd salvage something positive out of it.  What might that be?  Well, read on...

This weekend I had the opportunity to watch the Invicta Fights on the internet. The fights were free and, if you read some of my previous stuff, you know I love MMA, Mixed Martial Arts, in all its forms all the way back to UFC 1. Let's face it. I liked to see skilled fighters fight. And these weren't just any fighters, these were "guuuuuuuuuuurrrlllssss." That's right, Women's Mixed Martial Artists!  And through that, I made some "friends." Yeah, they are Twitter followers, but hey, that's the way we roll in 2012. My online friends. Since I have so few offline friends, I'll TAKE IT!

So, anyways...I watched the Invicta Fights and let me summarize the entire thing in a word! Passion! Here's another word. Attitude! Let me tell you what! These ladies left everything in the Octagon and after every fight, win, lose or draw (I don't think there were any but you know what I mean), they were smiling. How in the hell do you go into a fight and come out smiling? That is attitude! That is passion! WMMA has both! They were amazing to the point I had tears in my eyes, not because the fights were that good (And they were! HUNGRY! There's a word!). But because of the attitude and the passion that just bled out of the screen. I was genuinely inspired, so much so that they added to my dream!

I want to sponsor a WMMA fighter! In order to do that, I need to do what I have done and pick back up on my dream that I have let slip away some, but I'll get to that in a moment.  That's another word I have for you. Spectator.  I'll get back to that one in a second. But let me share some of the results with you, specific results because these are some of my new fellow Tweeps and Tweep-friends.  

Sara McMann def. Shayna Baszler via unanimous decision (29-28, 30-27, 29-28)
Sarah D'Aleilo def. Vanessa Porto via submission (armbar) at 3:16 of Round 1
Nicdali Rivera-Calanoc def. Angelica Chavez via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
Raquel Pennington def. Sarah Moras via unanimous decision (30-27, 29-28, 29-28)
Liz McCarthy def. Jessica Philippus via TKO (doctor's stoppage) - Round 1, 5:00

Out of 5 fights that I had a genuine interest in, the rest were spectacular but I didn't know them so much as I did some of the fighters here.  My fellow Tweeters along with a couple of others, Tara LaRosa for instance who became a Follower during the fights and had a long "conversation" with me afterwards about stunts and acting and such. Love her now! She's a beauty and I'm not just talking about her looks. Just a beautiful human being.  

Anyways, I digress.  

In the fights, I picked (from bottom to top)... Philippus, "Cheesecake" Moras, Nicdali, Porto and Baszler.  I was one out of five.  I should be crushed! 

Nope, not even a little bit and I'll tell you why. I saw stars in those fights. I saw "No Quit", Passion, Integrity, Good Sportsmanship, Drive, Dreams coming true and so much more! All of the things you want in the mix...to become an Actor!

Dreamers share these things! Whether it is WMMA or Acting (and I compared the two because of these qualities), that dream to achieve a goal so big that it keeps you awake at night thinking about it, visualizing it, that is what I saw!  

And it only got better at the end of each fight. I do admit that one fight in particular broke my heart and it was the very first one. Jessica Philippus was making her pro debut and lost at the end of the first round due to doctor stoppage. Is that really a loss? Well, in the record books it is. But I could see it in her eyes how badly she wanted to continue and I even had a Twitter Chat with her about it and she insisted on continuing, but you have to protect the athlete and she wasn't allowed to continue. I can accept that and she had to, but it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.  

The same can be said of Sarah "Cheesecake" Moras. I just wanted to cry. Well just damn! The same can be said of Baszler. Did they do enough to win? Hey, I'm not a Monday Morning quarterback. I think they did enough when they stepped across the threshold of the Octagon. I wouldn't do it! I like my teeth!  

But they went after their dream and "lost"! Yeah, right! They didn't lose except in the record books! But they did add another brick to the foundation and in a big way! HUGE! Twenty years from now, they are going to look back at Invicta Fights 1 & 2 and talk about the legends and these ladies will be in that list. Arguably, some of them already are!  

And, yes, I've heard the criticism of these wonderful ladies and all I can say is this. Here, let me scream for you stupid morons who can't understand simple English! "ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEMN AND COMPLAIN! MOST FOOLS DO!"  

Ignore them, ladies. Unless you get to punch one of the little Trolls in the mouth. And then I'll do it for you. Save your hands for the Octagon. 

But I was genuinely inspired and felt genuinely blessed by their responses as I watched the fights and compared notes.  

As for my record book winner, Keep Up the Good Work, Nicdali! YOU ROCKETH!  As for D'Aleilo, it was nothing personal. Porto did so well against Cyborg, I just kind of thought no contest. Boy was I wrong! I think I see Cyborg on your horizon and when that time comes, I'll be firmly in your corner cheering you to victory! You won me over in high fashion!

When brings me to pride. Yeah, I'm swallowing it here. I still haven't finished my Business Plan for "Tintallin Entertainment" and I need that investment money for a Film Studio. Having been inspired by these ladies, and now wanting to sponsor one, I need to get off my ass, finish it and get it out there! I'm on it.  

And my script that I've been working on for a long time now, "Whosoever," well, that is half written. So at least I've made some progress, yes?  But swallowing pride sucks! I should have had it all finished and I haven't!

There, I've kicked my own ass for it and now it is time to get back to work. I'd like to thank Invicta Fights, Jessica Philippus, Sara Moras, Nicdali Rivera-Calanoc and Shayna Baszler for inspiring me so much and for Tara LaRosa for being so passionate not just for WMMA, but for wanting to do stunts and putting up with my "treatise" on how to do it.  

You all are just wonderful people and I wish the very best for you! One day, and I mean it, I'm going to ask you to wear the Rhino-PIG Productions symbol on your shorts when you fight. What is that?

Rhino: Tough, tenacious, unstoppable. Fears no other creature. 

PIG: Pride, Integrity and Guts!

Be a Rhino-PIG, ladies! Be a Rhino-PIG! YOU ROCK!

An Actor's Opinion - I don't give a crap what you like. Do I?

Posted originally on my www.screened.com blog.  Screened Name: Tintallin


So, do you really think I give a crap if you like my work, my movies?  Do you?  Maybe, maybe not.  Let's put that in context shall we.   
 
Let's start with this (not shameless self-promotion this time, but putting it in context):  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1599107/
 
That's my link to my imdb.com page and in my message board is a thread called "Cool Bada$$."  Pretty cool, huh?  That's what you want to hear, someone calling you cool and a Bad A$$.  But someone always has to spoil the pudding.  Always.  Let's get this clear up front and I speak from experience.  No one is universally liked.  If you try to do something great, no matter what it is, Actor or Ditch Digger, you're going to piss someone off.  Period.   
 
The same can go for films.  I have prided myself on the films I've made.  Frankly, none of the films I've made have broken the $270,000 budget.  That was the biggest and it was "Dance of the Dead."  You want to know what's cool?  Please, take this in context and I'm not looking for sympathy.  I was at the hospital on Friday and took my mother off of life support.  She died peacefully and I have faith that she is in Heaven.  That does not make it less of a bummer or my mourning less, but I had to leave the hospital and go to Walmart as I needed a pair of black pants for the funeral.  I ruined mine, you guessed it, shooting a film.  What happened in Walmart?  God and his mysterious ways.  For the first time ever, someone recognized me, not as an old friend or classmate, heck, I didn't even attend school in this county, but as an Actor.  It was a girl about 14 years old and she chased me across the store and asked for my autograph.  Breathlessly.  "You're that actor!  You're Gravedigger!  You're James Jarrett!"   
 
I smiled.  Thank you, God.  You know the right spot to hit at the right time.   
 
But still, that is it for me.  I'm not some big Hollywood actor though I know some.  I've posted on who they are before but won't right now.  I've had the pleasure of working with some pretty cool people.  But no matter who is in a picture or who the actors are, someone is not going to like it.  Fine.  Not everyone likes spinach, cherries or women.  Men for that matter.  They are all a matter of taste.   
 
But.  BUT!  Don't get pissed at me when I tell you your opinion is useless when you tell me my movie is "Stupid!"  My response?  "Please qualify that statement."  Hey, if it was really stupid, I want to know why.  If it is dumb, please enlighten me.  If it "sucked", I'm all ears.  BUT!  "Well, it was just stupid, that's all" will get you a mouthful from me.   
 
"Wait, you said it was stupid, but you can't explain it?  You're an idiot!"  That's me on a good day.  Hell, that's me on a great day!  Pray for a great day.   
 
My reasoning is simple.  A few reasons really.  They shouldn't be that hard to understand.   
 
1.  I do this for me.  Period.  It is my dream.  It is my passion.  It is all I want to do.  Act.  Be an Actor.  Be in front of that camera and love it.  It makes my heart beat faster in anticipation and it is better than apple pie.  Without it, my life would be completely empty.  For the years I walked away from acting, I was miserable.  I'm back and I love my life again.  It is hard to love others when you hate what you've become.  Been there, done that.  So yeah, I do it for me.  You should try it.   
 
2.  I do it for my family.  If I make a ton of money, they benefit.  Cool.  If I am miserable, they are miserable.  Uncool.  And this is something we do together.  My youngest daughter was drafted, not volunteered, drafted, into drama club at school.  She's never acted in her life, but she was placed in advanced drama next year without ever having taken basic drama.  My oldest is considering a professional acting career.  I'm tickled pink for both of them.  Let's hear it for being in the blood.  My wife?  She just supports me unconditionally.  What more could a guy ask for?   
 
3.  I do it for you.  Sorry, but you don't make the top of the list.  You come in at a close third though.  Why?  Simple.  The first two reasons should make sense.  If I'm in the right place and my family is in the right place, I can make at least a decent movie for you to enjoy.  It isn't rocket science.  It's film making.  And without you, fans, movie goers, whatever you call yourself, it is still art and it is still important, but it lacks that luster if you don't go and watch it and love it or hate it passionately.   
 
And that's where this blog comes into play.  Do I care if you love my movie or me as an actor?  Yes and no.  Do I care if you hate my movie or me as an actor?  Yes and no.  Why?   
 
Because "That was stupid" or "You are stupid" just isn't good enough for me.  Why do you love or hate me?  What could I have done better?  What did I do well?  Why was I great?  Why did I suck?  Why?  What?  When?  Whatever?   
 
I just want to know if you're willing to tell me.  If I don't know, how can I get better?  How can I do a better job next time?  How can I break that Hollywood mold of rehashing old crap over and over again and come up with something new and original?   
 
My dreams are numerous, big and scary.  I am putting together a business plan to start a motion picture studio in Georgia for Independent Feature Films.  I am striving to be a recognized (note I did not say famous or A-List) Actor.  I am working towards the dream, now a goal, of working full time in films.  But at the age of 41, having only done this for 9 years professionally, I am still a baby in the business with a lot to learn.   
 
And I learn that from you.  Honest opinions, sometimes gently put as I do have an Actor's ego (all Actor's do), are a treasure.  It helps me do better next time.  I don't have low self esteem and don't need drugs or alcohol to boost me up.  I do get down and I have my ups, but I'm just like you.  And I want more!  MORE!  Better than I have now and I'm willing to work for it.   
 
So, do I care what you think?  Well, to be honest, I'll take it on a case by case basis depending on what comes out of your mouth.  After all, I can listen to advice all day long, but I don't have to take it.  Just like you.  

Lest I Forget...And I Didn't...Mark Westmoreland, Writer

So, I'll bet he thinks I forgot him but I didn't.

I'm not sure where our drive came from or the creativity or whatever it is that drives us the way we do, but I come from a pretty talented family.  Don't get me wrong though.  My siblings and I, two sisters and myself, were not exactly encouraged to be "creative" or to follow a dream.  On the contrary, we were told to get a job, save money and settle down.  Two point five kids and a picket fence but no dog.  We never had a dog at home.  An occasional stray of some sort, but no pet.

So, what does that have to do with Mark?  Well, my siblings and I, collectively or not, decided to dream anyways, to follow our hearts, to do what we wanted because we wanted.  What did we want?  MORE!  Something, anything, but to strive and go for it and live.  That last was the most important.  We didn't know how to live on our own or to want something big enough that it hurt.

But we learned.  And what did we do?  We encouraged it in our kids.   All of them.

And Mark (like my previous post about his younger brother Matthew) learned that lesson and grabbed it and ran with it like crazy!

Mark is an author, a budding author who writes Science Fiction and Fantasy and is working towards being published.  If he is a glutton for punishment, he picked the right career (along with the Actor Uncle and the Musician Brother).  If you are going to reach for something, make it big and worth having and Mark has done just that.  He reads books voraciously in order to be a better writer (and because reading is fun and fundamental and if you remember that, you are as old as I am).  He studies, he plans and he works on his books in small pieces or large and that work and dedication will pay off.

I just wanted to mention Mark and that I realized what he was doing and where he was going sooner than I did with Matt because my wife is a writer and she and Mark probably communicate more than I do.  Unlike Matt, I don't have a video to publish of Mark or have any of his writing to post (well, not entirely true.  I've read some of his work and you'll NEED to buy the book to read the awesome stories I have).  It is a more silent art than what Matt and I practice and probably less rewarding in the short term when it is just you and a blank page.  That takes courage, to sit in a room or at a desk or on a park bench with just your thoughts and a pen and a blank sheet looking back at you.  Yes, we have keyboards and computers, but some of us actually know how to write a little too.

And Mark is one of those people.  Give him your love and dedication but most importantly, give him your honesty.  If he ever blesses you and allows you to read a little of what he has written, enjoy it but be honest about it and specific.  That is the greatest gift of all to an artist and there are more than just myself  in this family.

And you'll know us all by name and sight one day.  After all, we do a lot of things, but we NEVER QUIT and Mark Westmoreland is going to break the speed of light reaching the stars and I look forward to the day when he lights you world!  Ciao!

How do you explain Passion? Re: Manifest Destiny, Matt Westmoreland and the Arts

I've always said it is funny how the world goes around and discovering new things and new people is always such a thrill.  What I'm referring to is the epiphany when the stars align and you realize that there is in fact someone that shares your passion, that is like you, that you "discover."

That just happened to me but happened in spades and right under my nose.  Let me explain.

My nephew, Matt Westmoreland is a musician.  Now, maybe I wasn't paying attention and maybe I should have been watching closer, but for whatever reason it slipped by me, right in front of  me and I just spaced it.  I should have known better because I'm an Actor and have worked hard to gain some recognition, make a film here and there and gain at least some notoriety if nothing else.  I'd like to be paid enough to support my family.  But whatever, I should have realized WAY sooner that I need to be paying better attention.

Ironically, it took the post of  my "niece-in-law", Jennifer, Matt's wife, and a blog post by Josh Coats of Manifest Destiny (that's the ironic part to me, Destiny), who is a stranger to me but a friend of Matt's, to wake me up to smell the coffee!  Yeesh, I feel like a bonehead, but it has passed and I am now fully awake.  I listened and paid attention and through that got to interact with Manifest Destiny and learned something and asked a very important question.

How do you explain Passion?

First, let me add a couple of Links for perspective.  Here's Josh's blog and Matt's song so that you can kind of get where I'm coming from.

Josh Coat's Blog, Featured Artist:  http://featuredbandsmattwestmoreland.blogspot.com/2011/06/featured-band-matt-westmoreland.html

Matt Westmoreland, "Nameless Town":


Having posted that, I immediately went to Manifest Destiny's page on FB, LIKED them and posted on their wall thanking them.  I was surprised, but I got a reply and it rang a bell in my head.  Let me post that for you to read as well:

ME: Thank you for your blog about Matt Westmoreland! You ROCK and not just in music! I have the honor of calling him nephew and for you to step up and share something about him is awesome. Much appreciated.  


Manifest Destiny: (Reply):  It was my honor! Thanks for reading it and supporting him! I can say from personal experience that you have no clue how much it means to us musicians when friends and especially family support us. Theres so many people that write us off and never take the time to even listen to our hard work. We spend hours upon hours of our time to put out 4 minutes of our heart, so thank you so much for making it worth our time!  


ME: Well, you have another supporter out of it as well. In this case, I happen to know because I'm an actor and have movies that some of my family have never seen for the same reasons. It is just hard to explain to them the passion. You have a new fan and a proud one and I have some music to buy. Yours. Thank you for posting and God Bless! I'll definitely be buying your music and spreading the word. Take care.  


So, I assume that was Josh that posted but don't really know.  Be that as it may, he did say something very interesting in there that prompted me to respond with a nugget of my own that just kind of came out.  


"Thanks for reading it and supporting him! I can say from personal experience that you have no clue how much it means to us musicians when friends and especially family support us."  And I responded with, "It is just hard to explain to them the passion."


And it is.  Sometimes, you just can't explain the passion to your friends or family.  They don't get it.  You're the weird cousin or son or daughter or in-law that is, "that actor" or "that guitar player" or whatever.  It's like you're something less than human, that sort of "off" member of the family.  It isn't intended to be hurtful or insulting or anything like that.  But it is sometimes if you let it and Artists are sensitive (not whiny cry-ie sensitive because that is so Prima Donna) but are tuned into their emotions and passions and are chasing a dream.


And how do you explain a dream to someone who may not have one?  How do you explain it to someone who has no personal passion of their own?  You don't.  You SHOW them!


I had to see Matt's video, AND SHAME ON ME FOR IT I MIGHT ADD, before I got it and it clicked with me.  I'm sorry, Matt, but I just didn't get it.  You're in Tulsa and I'm in Atlanta and THAT IS NO EXCUSE but it just went by me.  But now I am ON BOARD!  I get it.  I'm with you, buddy.


And the good that came out of it is that I have found a new group, Manifest Destiny, that I can follow and have new music to listen to on two fronts.  Matt and Manifest Destiny.


And maybe, just maybe, I will learn from this and do more on my part to tune in to other people's passions, support them and love them and encourage them.  I have posted friends IMDB pages and spent time on that site and others like Screened.com working on their profiles, trying to get them some recognition, promoting them.


Because I got it with them.  Now I  get it with my nephew and I'm proud.  Not because I got it from the beginning, but because he SHOWED me and it clicked.


If you are an artist and you're struggling and no one around you cares (or seems to because expressing it is sometimes difficult), look for those with a kindred spirit and let them share your passion even if you have to show them you are serious.


And let the chips fall where they may.  Growing a fan base or following as an artist, actor or musician, is hard and time consuming and expensive.  You have to balance "shameless self promotion" with encouraging people to listen and look and pay attention.  I do it all the time and wonder when I'm crossing the line or if I'm crossing it at all.  I have friends that don't follow my FB page who say they support me as an actor.  So what!  You accept it.  It is only FB or  Screened or whatever.  But you keep on chugging along and you will reap the rewards of your labor.


But SHOW your passion because I just don't think you'll be able to explain it and if you do, please let me know because doggone if I've been able to do it.  As I said to Josh, God Bless and take care.  Chase your dreams and don't let anyone kill your passion!  It will be very hard to live with yourself if you ignore that voice inside and don't do the very thing you were created for.  To LIVE!  Take care.


Shameless Self Promotion:  :D
James Jarrett on the IMDB:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1599107/
James Jarrett on Screened:  http://www.screened.com/james-jarrett/14-323378/
James Jarrett on Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/James-Jarrett/111683460125?ref=nf
James Jarrett Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/james.jarrett
James Jarret on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/#!/James_Jarrett

Whew!  That is a lot of work, but it will pay off one day.  Take care!

What An Interesting World We Are Living In - Unity

For a day the United States of America was united.  And what a helluva day it was!  Finally, after ten years, Osama bin Laden is dead!  And we celebrated with chants of "USA, USA, USA" and "Hell yeah!" and finally breathed a sigh of relief.  The rat had been exterminated.  The garbage had been taken out.  Osama bin Laden is now a shark snack and was crapped out on the bottom of the ocean even as he took a quick trip to Hell in a hand basket!  Can I get a "Hell Yeah!"?

And it lasted for a day.  Less than a day.  One guy got the boot on my Twitter because he couldn't shut his freaking mouth.  Libtard!  Shut up!  Let us celebrate for a minute before you bring up Bush!  You can say what you want...tomorrow.  Today, for just a moment, celebrate as one.

But, whatever.  I'm not an Obama supporter and think he is doing a damned fine job of destroying our economy.  But I'll give him props.  He signed the order like any decent President would do and he took the credit even as he would have taken the heat if the military had failed to complete the mission.  That's what Presidents do.  Bush did it.  Clinton did it.  Bush Sr. did it.  Reagan...yeah, you can go backwards through the ages just like I can.  Carter took the heat for the order he signed and I'm not a fan of him either, but he took the heat for the failure with that abysmal failure of a mission to rescue the hostages in Iran.  Like a good President.

But let's move on.  Obama is President and he signed the order to take bin Laden.  Bush signed the order to take Saddam, Afghanistan and Iraq (all of which I agree with) and Clinton didn't sign to the order to take bin Laden when he had the chance.  I only point that out because all of those decisions did and will have consequences.  What if Clinton had signed the order?  I can only shrug at that.  He didn't.  He didn't avenge the attack on the USS Cole either.  What if he had?  I shrug.  I shrug because I don't know those answers.  The World Trade Centers are on the ground now but we are rebuilding them.  That may have happened anyways.

But at the end of the day, Osama bin Laden is DEAD!  That is never going to get old.  EVER!  I'll say it again.  OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!  Feels good, doesn't it?

And so I celebrate another victory and I don't really care who the cat is in office right now, Obama, Bush or Tweedle-f-ing-Dee!

So, for a brief time, we've put another victory under our belt, a feather in our cap and it was done on the backs of the men and women who do it each and every time.  Our Military.  Our professionals.  Our protectors.  I take pride that it was my military brethren that went and got him and not kidney failure.  In this case, it is reported that it was Seal Team Six.  It could have been Delta Force, my army brethren instead of my extended family, the Navy.  I'm an Army Vet.  I was almost a Navy vet but never looked that closely at them.  The fact is, I've been where they are.  The President says it.  We did it.  He took the credit or the heat for it.  Everyone said thank you and went on about their business.

For for a very brief, shining moment, we stood together as a country and we celebrated and we remembered and we laughed and we cried.  Celebrated the death of the most evil rat bastard on the planet.  Remembered those who died on 9/11 and were the victims of a madman.  Laughed out of joy and relief that finally we closed a chapter on said Rat Bastard.  And we cried for those that have gone before us as well as that same relief, even disbelief, that a part of our journey was over.

And for a moment, we felt great again and our country had risen from the ashes of a very long and tiring war that had taken something from us, taken a little piece of our heart and chewed it up and spit it out.

And now we move on.  Back to business as usual.  But for a shining moment, we were one.

God bless our troops and our President, for good or ill.  I am a fan of them and not of him, but for just a moment, I was proud.

And I held my head high again.  As an American.

Actor James Jarrett: Who am I?

Ok, so this will be my first blog so here goes.  This is my introduction of myself from my point of view.  I would ask you to read the whole thing if you are so inclined because...well, I'm not sure if you've met anyone like me.

I am...

A Christian.
A Conservative.
An Actor.
A techie.
A geek.
Driven to succeed.
A Soldier.
A Capitalist.
An American.
A Human.

I am not...

Stupid.
Closed Minded.
The coolest guy in the room.
The hottest guy in the room.
The dumbest guy in the room.
The meanest guy...no, I take that back.  Never mind.
Stupid.  Wait...I said that.

Having said all of  that, the simple fact of the matter is, I believe in Jesus, the Constitution of the United States, Common Sense and loving they neighbor...warts and all.  I did not say like.  I don't have to like you to love you where you are at in life.  They are not the same thing.

Help your fellow man when you can and until they show they don't deserve it.  Be compassionate but not to the point of stupidity.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, I should have learned the first time.  If you use your First Amendment Rights and piss me off, I will introduce you to my Second Amendment Rights.

I do not advocate violence no matter what my previous sentence said.  It was a figure of speech.  Healthy debate is good debate.

If you call me a racist, I'll correct you and tell you that I am a bigot.  I hate stupid people.  Stupid is stupid regardless of any other consideration.

You are not ENTITLED to anything that is mine.  If you think you are, come and get it.  I'll meet you at the door, shoot you and drag your body across the threshold before I call the cops.  I watch CSI.  I know how to cover up the evidence.

I have a wife.  I have kids.  Two of those children are girls and are still with me.  One of them was my son and he is not.  He died but "he's in a better place."  I hate that statement.  He's in Heaven with God the Father and God the Son.  God the Holy Spirit is right here with me.

I know pain.  If you've lost a child, you know that pain.  I know compassion but have trouble showing it.  I do my best.

I don't particularly like people as a whole, but I do like the occasional person.  If you ever meet me in person, you will most likely find out pretty quickly if you are a people or a person.

I don't dislike people.  I just get tired of their whining and complaining and then their refusal to do anything to change the things they are whining and complaining about.  Shut the hell up!  If you aren't willing to change, don't whine to me about it you non-contributing piece of crap.  Take the crap that is shoveled at you and put a cork in it until you've taken all you can stand and then do something to change it.

I hope for other people's success.  I celebrate their success when they achieve it.  I do not envy their success nor am I jealous of their success, but I do hope that I achieve it as well.  And I don't just hope.  I actively work to achieve it.  It takes both.  Hope (actually faith) and work to get there.  A little luck too, but I don't count on it.

I'm a contradiction.  Duh!  You should have figured out this by now.

I use spell check.  Try it.

I make words up.  Try it.

I neither laugh nor smile easily.  If you manage to make me do either, consider it a compliment.

I have a sense of humor drier than the Sahara Desert.  I'm often asked if I'm serious or not.  If you have to ask, I'm probably not, but you are still wise to ask.

I do cry easily.  That comes from pain, the kind that you won't understand if you have never lost a child.  You can't control it and you can't stop it.  You simply have to accept it as it is.

I don't do cheap.  I will do inexpensive.  More on that later.

If you are making a film and approach me for my technical skill, I will ask how much you are paying me.  If you approach me as an actor, I might cut you a break on my technical skill.  I'm an actor who knows how to do tech better than the next guy.  It would behoove you to remember that.

I have been called arrogant a lot.  I am confident.  If you are going to label me, I am Arrogant Confidence.  I am arrogant enough to tell you I can do anything.  I am confident enough to show you.

I don't believe in the impossible.  I believe I can do anything I put my mind to.  Period!  The saying that supports that more than any other is "If you believe you can or you can't, you're right."  What the hell is "can't"?

If you are brainstorming, put everything on the table without excuses.  Don't shoot down ideas out of hand.  If you do, I'm not your guy.  I once turned my truck on its side for a Director because I could.  I just decided I could.  I couldn't care less why something can't be done.  I only think of why it can be done.  Try it.  You might be surprised.

I am me.  Take it for whatever you will, but I will try my best no matter the odds, I won't count on a winning lottery ticket to be "rich", I don't believe in "rich" but wealthy and I will take my last breath knowing that I did everything I could for myself, my wife and my girls in that order.  Does that sound selfish?  I don't care.  If I take care of me, I will take care of my wife and she and I will take care of the girls.  We're a team but you have to have priorities.

And that is a summary of my life to date, who and what I am.  Is it complete?  Not a chance.  Not in these few words, but it's the best I can do with just words.

I hope I can provide you with some entertainment and maybe make you laugh from time to time.  If not, well, we'll cry together too.  Take care and much love.  They call me Gravedigger, James and Jaime.  Ciao!

P.S.  This blog was read and vetted before I posted it by someone objective.  By the way, I am not a liar.  Just an FYI.